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NOTE: This is a re-post, as I could not change the title on the original.
Plus, this is rated TV-PG for use of a gun and vandalism.
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Narrator: The story you are about to see is fictional.
Narrator: The crimes are made up, but the characters are real.
[In the streets of New York, the Bambi walks toward the studio]
Bambi: [narrates] It was Thursday, 11:40am. It had snowed about 3-4 inches over the weekend, but that didn't stop us. It's melting by now. I'm hoping for an early Spring this Groundhog Day. I was working the day watch out of ACME Crime Net. The captain is Greg Lee. My partners are the Chipmunks and the Chipettes. Head of our computer division is Marnie Carlson. My name is Apple. I'm a singer.
[She enters the studio, then arrives in the alley, where Pokepella awaits with the Chipmunks and the Chipettes]
Bambi: Hi, you guys.
Alvin: Hi, Bambi.
Ash: Had a good night?
Alvin: Yep. But I'm really looking forward to the Super Bowl in less than a couple weeks.
Ash: I'm pullin' for the Giants.
Alvin: Ditto.
[Both fist-bump]
[Greg enters]
Greg: Good morning, all.
Ash: Hi, Greg.
Pikachu: Pika.
Iris: How are things, Captain?
Greg: Just fine.
Cilan: My group and I heard that before the start of 2012, the Chipmunks and the Chipettes were involved in a murder case.
Bambi: I do remember it well. They told me the whole story. Let's look at scenes from the last show of 2011 for reference.
[Clips from the last side-fic are shown]
Bambi: [narrates] The Chipmunks, the Chipettes, and the DigiDestined were investigating the murder of widowed Queens resident Artemis MacGregor. The night before, he was killed in a car crash by masked reckless driver. Also, insurance policies were involved. The company was to pay the beneficiary $400,000 in life insurance, via double indemnity, $30,000 from Mr. MacGregor's car insurance, and $120,000 from car insurance of the true owner of the car that killed Mr. MacGregor: His brother-in-law, John Whittle, who had 24 hours to pick up the insurance money in order to keep it. Mimi and Simon questioned Whittle about the car that he claimed was stolen, Tai, Kari, Izzy, and Alvin questioned the victim's mother and son, the latter of whom was the true beneficiary of the insurance policies, and Daniel Bozzelli, the security guard from the store Mr. Whittle worked in. Later, they went through their facts, and to their surprise, the surveillance videos they got from Mr. Bozzelli were edited to try and keep the true murderer out of jail. The man who was panicking at the sight of the car theft was Bozzelli, and the car thief turned out to be Whittle himself, who wanted all his brother's insurance money for himself. While the DigiDestined went after Whittle, the Chipmunks and the Chipettes challenged Bozzelli to get him to confess to his and Whittle's plan. After Simon's Blastoise defeated Bozzelli's Carracosta, Bozzelli confessed to the plan. Meanwhile, back at Whittle's house, he was about to get to the insurance company, when the DigiDestined surprised him. Whittle confessed and tried to escape in a stolen car, but thanks to Angewomon, his escape plan was botched. He and Bozzelli were taken into custody, and Bozzelli's doing a good 8 years in jail. As for Whittle, all he got was life imprisonment without parole, and during his time, he was killed in a fight with another inmate in prison while attempting to escape.
[Back to the present]
Bambi: And that's what happened. Artemis got justice, his son is over half a million bucks richer, and Whittle's in--
[A man (played by David Alan Grier) enters]
Man: Hello, ACME Crime Net.
Alvin: Greg, who's this?
Greg: Oh, I forgot, you guys haven't met this guy yet. This is Bernard Mullen.
Bernard: [extracts a badge] NYPD officer.
Greg: Bernard, this is Alvin, Simon, Theodore, Brittany, Jeanette, Eleanor, Bambi, Ash, Pikachu, Iris, and Cilan.
Bernard: Pleasure to meet you.
[He and Ash shake hands]
Ash: Pleasure's all ours, Bernard.
Simon: If you're a cop, then how come you don't have a uniform?
Bernard: I'm an undercover cop. I'm also a cab driver, as well as a substitute teacher.
Iris: It's like Kindergarten Cop.
Bernard: Except I teach middle school. Now, ACME Crime Net hired me to help you guys out. I know how those Vorsteins are.
Greg: Now, the Chief just got reports of graffiti vandalism in the Greater New York area.
Brittany: I remember one student in our class back in L.A. got caught spraying graffiti on his classroom's lockers, and he was expelled.
Ash: Where did these incidents happen?
Greg: The Skyview Health Club in the Bronx, Duane-Reade drug stores, and most recently, they moved on to College Point and vandalized the windows of a Five Guys restaurant.
Cilan: Five Guys?
Theodore: One of those fast casual restaurants, Cilan. Delicious burgers. Nice peanuts.
Alvin: Of course, Marsha thinks it's more expensive than In-N-Out Burger back in L.A.
Bambi: Who would wanna do such a thing?
Greg: That's why I turned to you.
Iris: We're on it.
Ash: Ready for action, Pikachu?
Pikachu: Pika-Pika!
Iris: Axew, how 'bout you?
Axew: Axew!
Cilan: Then let's go!
Bambi: [looks at her 6 Pokeballs] Magmortar, Ekans, all of you, I'm counting on you.
Alvin: Only one problem. My ACME Scooter's in the shop.
Simon: Mine, too.
Theodore: Ditto.
Brittany: Mine and my sisters' ran out of gas.
Bambi: Mine's got a flat.
Bernard: Don't worry, kids. Bambi. I'll take you in my cab.
Bambi: Thank you so much, Officer Mullen.
Bernard: Happy to help.
Ash: We'll follow suit, Bernard.
Pikachu: Pika.
Greg: Keep me posted.
[Later, on the Bronx-Whitestone Bridge, Pokepella's ACME Scooters follow Bernard's cab to the Bronx]
Bambi: [narrates] Armed with our newfound friend and undercover cop Bernard Mullen, we set off to the Bronx, where the Skyview Health Club was vandalized.
[The gang's first stop is the Skyview Health Club, which has graffiti written on the walls and the front doors; the manager stands in front]
Manager: You from ACME Crime Net?
Bambi: Yes, sir. Bambi Apple. These are my partners, the Chipmunks and the Chipettes.
Ash: I'm Ash, this is Pikachu, Iris, Axew, and Cilan.
Bernard: And I'm Officer Mullen, NYPD. Your name, sir?
Manager: Cam Freeman. I'm the manager of this health club.
Iris: When did the vandalism occur, Mr. Freeman?
Freeman: Around 10:00am yesterday. I saw three guys outside the house, and they sprayed graffiti all over the walls and the front door. Take this, for instance.
[He points to one of the walls, which says "All Hail Vorstein!"]
Alvin: "All Hail Vorstein"? I knew Klaus was up to something!
Freeman: Someone you know, kid?
Alvin: Someone I know? Mr. Freeman, didn't you hear the news about Klaus Vorstein? Months ago, he escaped from prison.
Freeman: Oh, him. Sorry. I've a tendency to forget things. Anyway, when security saw the vandals on the surveillance cameras, I ran outside and scared them away.
Ash: Can you describe those guys, Mr. Freeman?
Freeman: When I looked at the surveillance videos, which, by the way, were all in color, one of them had a mohawk, the shortest one had a pair of red boots on, and the tallest one was bald, and he had graffiti marks on his shirt.
Cilan: [takes notes] One has a mohawk, one has red boots and is short, one is tall, bald, and has graffiti marks on his shirt. Got it.
Freeman: [hands each member of the gang a card for his club] Here's my card. If you ever need to stop by this health club, or if you have a lead on the vandals, the number's right here.
Bambi: We'll make sure to be in touch with you, Mr. Freeman.
Bernard: Let's go, guys.
[The gang exits]
[Back at ACME Crime Net HQ, in ACME Labs, computer expert Marnie Carlson (played by Deborah Estelle Phillips) builds up a database on her laptop]
Bambi: [narrates] When we got back to headquarters, we asked our computer expert: Marnie Carlson, to build up a database of the vandalism reports on her computer.
[Alvin and Bambi enter]
Alvin: Afternoon, Marnie. Any luck?
Marnie: As a matter of fact, Alvin, check this out.
[She opens up an image of a map of Greater New York, with green dots on the drug stores, health clubs, and Five Guys restaurants, and red X's on those that were vandalized]
Marnie: This is a map of Greater New York, and the green-dotted areas are the Duane-Reade drug stores, the Skyview Health Clubs, and the Five Guys restaurants. Those that have the red X's are the ones that had been vandalized.
Bambi: [points to the location of the health club from before] This is the one we just got back from. Plus, the manager told us that the vandals had the following descriptions: One had a mohawk, one was short with red boots, and the other's shirt was covered in graffiti, and he was tall.
Marnie: Exactly what some of the victims told me about suspects when I called them while you were out. However, the manager of the Five Guys restaurant in College Point said that the vandal he saw was different from your suspects.
Alvin: A fourth vandal?
Bambi: Some teamwork.
Marnie: This man was wearing a polyester suit, wore a bulldog mask, and talked like Randy Savage.
Alvin: The late, great Macho Man of wrestling?
Marnie: Yep. When the manager came out to confront the vandal, he tried to call the police, but the vandal escaped.
Bambi: He should've called while he was still inside.
Marnie: Too late now.
[The phone rings]
Marnie: Excuse me.
[She picks up the phone]
Marnie: ACME Crime Net. Carlson. Where? Who? Uh-huh. I heard he did the same thing to the one in College Point.
Bambi: Another Five Guys?
Alvin: But where?
Marnie: Thanks. I'll tell 'em, and I'll keep in touch.
[She hangs up]
Marnie: We got another one.
[She places an X on the Five Guys location in Bayside]
Marnie: Bayside.
Alvin: All the way in California?
Bambi: Alvin, that's Saved by the Bell.
Marnie: This Bayside is a neighborhood in Queens. It's one of the most expensive areas to live in Queens, with well kept homes and landscaping.
Alvin: So, a Five Guys restaurant was reported vandalized there?
Marnie: Yep. Just last night at around 6:00pm. And the vandal there had the same description as the one who did the Five Guys in College Point.
Bambi: Polyester? Bulldog mask? Savage imitation?
Marnie: The works.
Alvin: There's only one Five Guys left un-vandalized.
Bambi: Where, Alvin?
Alvin: 316 West 34th Street. Manhattan.
Marnie: And it's a big one. Right between Baskin-Robbins and the Cafe Bistro.
Bambi: By golly. But there's just one thing. Why would 4 vandals wanna vandalize 3 companies?
Marnie: I'm not sure, Bambi, but I've got a strange suspicion that there's a pattern involved.
[Later, in the Pokepella office, Ash is on the phone]
Bambi: [narrates] Later that day, 5:11pm, after I told Pokepella the news about the 4th suspect, while we searched for patterns on the vandalized companies, Ash got a phone call from the Chief for a progress report.
Chief: [on phone] A bulldog?
Ash: Mm-hmm. Exactly what Bambi told me.
Chief: I don't care if one of those vandals wore a mask that looked like a rhino. I want all those vandals behind bars!
Ash: Right.
Chief: Keep me posted.
Ash: As soon as we get something.
[He hangs up]
Pikachu: Pika-Pi?
Iris: Was that Greg?
Ash: Nope. The Chief.
Cilan: Of all people?
Ash: Yep. She wants us to crack this case.
Iris: Do you think the Chief's got a terrible attitude, Ash?
Ash: Can't say that she does, Iris. [crosses his fingers] Besides, she and Greg are just like that. Aren't they, Pikachu?
Pikachu: [nods] Pika.
[Bernard enters with a print-out]
Bernard: Ash, we got a lead. Take a look at this print-out I got from Marnie.
[He shows a print-out of common denominators]
Iris: These look like common denominators of the vandalized stores and the health club.
Bernard: Yep. See, they all use the same company of uniforms, they use a variety of dry cleaners, and the same coffee service. Unfortunately, none of these help. But we did find something in their advertising.
Cilan: They all do newspapers. Only different ones.
Bernard: But check their radio advertising.
Iris: Hmm... I can't quite make out the pattern, Bernard.
Bernard: It's quite simple. All these companies advertise on but one station.
[He draws a circle around the name of the one station all 3 companies advertise on:]
Bernard: WHUP-AM.
Ash: Whup? Interesting.
Bernard: That's what I thought. So I asked Marnie to print out a copy of the station's program schedule.
[He extracts said copy and hands it to Ash]
Ash: Monday-Friday on top, Saturday on the bottom. Seems as if they like to advertise all over the schedule.
Bernard: True dat, Ash, but look at this.
[He points to the one show where all 3 companies advertise:]
Bernard: All companies advertise on one show Monday-Saturday. Bashin' Banter With Mikhail G. Richardson.
Cilan: You're right, Bernard. Monday-Friday at 6:00pm, and on Saturdays at 2:00pm.
Bernard: And you're not gonna believe what else Marnie found. She talked to the station manager and learned that every one of these companies cancelled their sponsorship just before their facilities were vandalized.
Ash: It looks as though we've got our men.
Bernard: I'm gonna take Bambi and the kids over to the station. I'll keep you guys posted if we need you.
[He exits the office]
Ash: Good luck.
[Later, in the streets of Greater New York, Bernard's cab is on its way to WHUP]
Bambi: [narrates] We were on our way to WHUP, a 300-watt AM radio station in Queens. Mikhail G. Richardson was a controversial radio show host who liked to insult his audience, but for some strange reason, he seemed to be quite popular.
Bernard: You guys ever heard Mikhail G. Richardson on the radio?
Bambi: Whenever the Chipmunks and the Chipettes and I are about to drive to dinner, I keep hearing that same guy's voice coming from one guy's radio. Richardson's always yelling at his callers.
Eleanor: Ugh. Creepy. He likes to call his callers bad names, make dirty jokes about them, and even hang up on them.
Jeanette: If you ask me, he's a total pistol.
Brittany: I'll say.
Bernard: You like him, don't you?
Alvin: Like him? Bernard, I hate him! He's a terrible host.
Theodore: When will he ever get fired?
Simon: That depends. He gets worse every year over the past 5 years he's done his show.
[The cab parks at the WHUP-AM radio station; the 8 enter the station and walk up to the manager]
Bambi: Evening, sir. Bambi Apple. ACME Crime Net. These are my partners, the Chipmunks and the Chipettes, and this is Bernard Mullen.
Bernard: NYPD.
Alvin: We'd like to see Mr. Mikhail G. Richardson.
Manager: He's on the air at the moment. Wait for him in the hallway.
[The gang enters the hallway, then they notice Mikhail G. Richardson (played by Dave Coulier) doing his show through the window of a soundproof booth]
Richardson: [to a caller] Aw, come on. That's the most absurd thing these ears ever heard! Some college guy you are. They should send you back to kindergarten, where ungrateful, brainless coots like you belong!
[He hangs up, then pushes a button]
Richardson: More calls in a moment.
[He turns off the microphone, then notices the gang]
[Bambi points at the others and herself, then to the booth, as a sign to ask Richardson if they could come inside]
[Richardson nods and signals them inside; the gang enters the booth]
Bambi: Good evening, Mr. Richardson. I'm Bambi Apple.
Alvin: Alvin Seville, and these are my brothers, Simon and Theodore.
Brittany: Brittany Miller, and these are my sisters, Jeanette and Eleanor.
All 7: [reveal their badges] ACME Crime Net.
Bernard: [reveals his badge] Bernard Mullen.
Richardson: NYPD, eh? You look more like a cabbie.
Bernard: You could say that.
Brittany: I wonder if we could ask you some questions.
Richardson: I'm in a commercial break. I could use a few minutes. Whattaya want with me?
Alvin: We noticed 3 of your sponsors have cancelled lately.
Richardson: They're a bunch of ugly caterpillars.
Jeanette: But something strange has happened to all 3 of them since they quit sponsoring your show, Mr. Richardson.
Richardson: What? Their sales are down? Robbery? Head of the companies died?
Simon: None, sir. Vandalism.
Richardson: Well, good. It couldn't have happened to any sweeter bunch of mangy mongrels.
Theodore: Mr. Richardson, have you any idea why they stopped sponsoring your program?
Richardson: Simple, Theo. Those gutless traders said I was too controversial, those little chickens.
Bernard: We think a man with your 'tude might wanna pay those sponsors back for cancelling.
Richardson: Aw, come on. I don't need 'em anymore. I'm doin' just fine without 'em. I can always get new sponsors.
Alvin: We don't think so, Richardson.
Richardson: Then you don't think at all, Al.
Alvin: We do so.
Bambi: We think you and 3 other guys had reason to vandalize the Skyway Health Club, Duane-Reade drug stores, and Five Guys restaurants, Mr. Richardson.
Richardson: Impossible, mophead. I mean, I knew those guys from college. Frank Arbogast with the graffiti shirt, Don Roper with the blazin' red boots, and that mohawked Richie Lowenstein. They treated me like I was their big brother. They thought of me as a great leader for their basketball team. I can't let 'em do such a thing on my account. Besides, I didn't do any of the vandalizing. I was on the air at the time.
Bernard: We didn't say what time the vandalisms occured.
Richardson: I read it all in the papers.
Alvin: It was never printed in any of the papers.
Richardson: Listen, needle nose. I heard about it somewhere. When did they occur?
Brittany: Most of them were between 8:00 and 10:00pm.
Richardson: I'm on the air between 6 and 10 every weeknight.
Jeanette: Some of the vandalisms were on Saturdays between 2:30 and 3:00pm.
Richardson: Saturdays, I'm on the air from 2:00 to 6:00pm. You 8 egg-faces got the wrong guy. Just float on outta here!
Simon: Thank you for your time, sir. Come on, guys. Let's go.
[He and the gang exit the booth as Richardson returns to work]
[The gang returns to the lobby, where Jeanette notices a coverage map on the wall]
Jeanette: Guys, look at this.
Manager: That's our coverage map, ma'am.
Simon: I see. The shaded area is where the station can be heard clearly.
Manager: Exactly. Copies of it can be printed out at our website: WHUP.com. Our sales staff uses the map to sell advertisers.
Bambi: By the way, sir, has Mr. Richardson been on the air during his regular time slot?
Manager: Pardon, ma'am?
Bambi: Has he taken a leave of absence for any reason during the past few days?
Manager: Oh, no, ma'am. He's been here all the time. Every year, he takes a vacation at the same place.
Alvin: When and where?
Manager: For the entire month of December, he takes a religious retreat.
[The gang is a bit surprised]
Bernard: We'll keep in touch, sir.
[He and the rest of the gang exit the station]
[Back at HQ, the gang, joined by Pokepella and Marnie, looks at a giant print-out of the WHUP's coverage map, which is combined with the map of vandalized facilities]
Bambi: [narrates] Later that night, when we got back to headquarters, we put out an APB on the other three vandals and decided to figure out who would make them want to vandalize Mr. Richardson's sponsors.
Marnie: Now, look. All but two of the vandalisms fall within the area, and those two don't follow the voice pattern or the time pattern. I can safely say that Richardson is your man.
Ash: Alvin tells me he's got an ironclad alibi.
Pikachu: Pika-Pika.
Marnie: Plus, I got a background on him. He used to be a big name in radio. He had a network call-in show and made thousands of bucks in the 1970s.
Iris: How'd he wind up hosting a show in a little 300-watt station in Queens, Marnie?
Marnie: He's always been highly controversial, Iris. One day, he was on the air with a Triple Nine Society, and publically offended Mike Keefe.
Bernard: So he got fired?
Marnie: Yep. Then he went to smaller and smaller radio stations locally, but nobody wanted to take a chance on him, despite his big audiences. And get this, guys. You know what he did in the late 90s?
Alvin: No. What?
Marnie: He did a radio show with comedy impressions. His last program in 1999 was called: "Randy Savage meets Rocky and Bullwinkle". He did it in honor of the upcoming movie of the latter two characters.
Ash: Wait a tick. He did a Randy Savage impression?
Marnie: Yes, Ash. And if the 4th vandal sounds like Randy Savage,...
Bambi: Then we've got our man!
Ash: And look.
[He walks up to the map and points to a green-dotted location in the advertising area]
Ash: There's one Five Guys in the advertising area that hasn't been vandalized.
Bambi: The one in Manhattan!
Iris: When Richardson goes for it, we'll be there to snatch him.
Alvin: I'm not quite sure. You don't think Richardson would vandalize that place now.
Iris: Why not, Alvin?
Alvin: He knows we're watching him. He wouldn't try anything so foolish.
Ash: Alvin, if Richardson is our man, and we're sure he is, he's got a foolproof way of vandalizing. He's got a mile-high ego, a perfect alibi, and a working M.O. He'll surely try to knock over the Five Guys in Manhattan.
Alvin: I don't know, Ash.
[Greg enters]
Greg: Any progress, guys?
Bambi: We're getting extra close, Captain.
Greg: Great. You figured out who's responsible?
Cilan: We put out an APB on the 3 vandals we heard about from Mr. Freeman at the health club, Captain. As for the fourth one, who we suspect is their leader, we've reason to suspect he's gonna vandalize the Five Guys restaurant in Manhattan.
Greg: But did you figure out who it was?
Simon: Mikhail G. Richardson, the controversial disc jockey.
Greg: Oh, that loudmouth. I hated his show. I want him fired.
Brittany: Once we arrest him, Greg, you may get your wish. Maybe even more.
Greg: I hope you're right, Brittany. Anyway, I taped a report for the 11:00pm news. Lemme know if I can be of any help.
[He exits]
Ash: That's it!
Bambi and Ash: He taped it!
Iris: Yeah! Richardson put a digital recording on his show, then vandalized the companies' facilities!
Alvin: But it's a live phone-in show. How could he have done it?
Bambi: I don't know how he does it, but he's doing it. I'm gonna get in touch with the audio lab. Bernard, I need you to call the manager of the Five Guys in Manhattan.
Bernard: Right.
[Both extract their iPhones and dial the numbers]
Bambi: [narrates] While I put a call through to the audio lab, Bernard got in touch with a Five Guys manager and told him we thought his joint might be next. He agreed to help out and gave us his cooperation.
Bernard: Thanks.
[He and Bambi hang up]
Alvin: You got your Pokeballs ready?
Bambi, Simon, Theodore, and the Chipettes: Check!
Ash, Iris, and Cilan: Check!
Ash: Ready for action, Pikachu?
Pikachu: Pika!
Bambi: Let's roll!
[They all hurry out]
[8:00pm; at the Five Guys restaurant in Manhattan on West 34th Street, Ash, Iris, Cilan, and Bambi are undercover as employees; Bambi hands a customer a tray of his meal; the customer hands her the money (and extra change)]
Bambi: Thank you, sir. Enjoy.
[She places the money in the cash register]
Bambi: Ash, everything all right with you and the others?
[Ash, Iris, Cilan, and Bernard are preparing the food]
Ash: I guess so. How's Pikachu doing with Axew and the 'Munk team?
Bambi: Doing fine.
[The Chipmunks, the Chipettes, Pikachu, and Axew are undercover as regular customers; they are enjoying their meals]
Theodore: Care for a French fry, Pikachu?
Pikachu: Pika-chu.
[Theodore feeds him a fry; Pikachu licks his lips, then takes a sip of his soda]
Brittany: I hope this plan works.
[Alvin looks at his watch]
Alvin: Let's have a listen to Richardson's show. Bernard, radio!
[Bernard tunes the radio]
Richardson: [on radio] 'Sup? I'm Mikhail G. Richardson, and you're a sprained spaghetti. What's on your mind, caller?
Caller: Dude, Where's My Car?
Richardson: What? Your car was stolen? Come on! Why can't you learn to buy insurance on these things?
[As he continues talking, another customer walks up to the registers]
Bambi: Evening. How may I help you?
Customer: I'm lookin' for a 1963 Rambler.
Bambi: A car? I'm sorry, sir. This is a fast food restaurant. Not a police station. Why don't you dial information?
Customer: Oh. Never mind. I'll just have a regular Pepsi.
Bambi: Cilan, one regular Pepsi.
[Cilan enters with a regular-sized cup of Pepsi; Bambi hands it to the customer]
Bambi: [enters the order into the register] $2.17, please.
[The customer hands her the money, takes his drink, and leaves]
Richardson: [on radio] Fire away, you dimwitted dumbell. What's your story?
Caller 2: I've deep concern for escargot.
[Bambi reacts and listens closely]
Richardson: Aw, come on, you bleeding heart! Snails are good cooked.
Caller 2: Nobody should be allowed stuff and cook 'em. Not here in the U.S., not anywhere!
Richardson: Uh-huh. What are ya? Some sorta animal-rights activist, dim-bulb?!
Iris: Bambi, you think the kids need anymore sodas?
Bambi: Hold it, Iris. Listen.
Caller 2: You know, if they stopped doing that, there would be more nice, little houses in the forests.
Iris: I don't get it.
Bambi: Richardson's gonna say this.
Richardson: [as Bambi mouths him] I've heard of slug lovers before, but you're ridiculous!
Bambi: I heard that same thing about 2 months ago.
Iris: Then you're right.
Ash: What's goin' on?
Iris: Ash, you and Bambi were right. Richardson records all his shows, and he replays an old recording, sneaks out of his station, and vandalism is afoot.
Pikachu: Pika-Pi!
Ash: What is it, Pikachu?!
Pikachu: [points to the window] Pika-Pika!
[Ash notices a man in a bulldog mask and a polyester suit out the window; the man has 2 cans of graffiti on hand]
Ash: There's our vandal.
[Bambi points to Jeanette, who enters the A/V room, turns off the radio, and talks into a microphone; her voice is heard over the loudspeaker]
Jeanette: [over loudspeaker] We interrupt Bashin' Banter With Mikhail G. Richardson for an important announcement. Mikhail G. Richardson, popular radio loudmouth, is, at this moment, preparing to vandalize a Five Guys restaurant in West 34th Street in Manhattan.
[Bambi removes her hat and apron, then slowly heads for the door]
Jeanette: As Richardson readies his graffiti cans, he is suddenly confronted by an ACME Crime Net detective.
[Bambi swiftly heads out the door and faces Richardson]
Bambi: Freeze! ACME Crime Net!
Richardson: [imitates Randy Savage] Oh! Real sweet, little lady. But it's a little late. I've got a vandalism scheme to get to.
Bambi: You will do no such thing, Richardson. Drop the cans and get your hands up!
Richardson: [drops the cans] Okay. No graffiti. But only on one condition. A Pokemon battle!
Bambi: Since when are you a Pokemon trainer?
Richardson: Well-trained for 5 years. 4-on-4's okay?
Bambi: Deal!
[The rest of the gang joins her]
Richardson: Fine.
Jeanette: This will be a 4-on-4 battle. The first side whose Pokemon are all unable to continue will be eliminated. In addition, only an ACME agent is permitted to switch Pokemon. Good luck!
Richardson: Go, Hitmonchan!
[Out of the ball comes a Hitmonchan]
Hitmonchan: Hitmonchan!
Bambi: Piece of cake. [tosses a Pokeball] Ekans, I choose you!
[Out of the ball comes her Ekans]
Ekans: Ekans!
Richardson: Hitmonchan, begin with Bullet Punch!
[Hitmonchan repeatedly punches Ekans w/said attack]
Bambi: Ekans, Poison Sting!
[Ekans fires said attack at Hitmonchan, hitting and poisoning him]
Ekans: Ekans!
Bambi: Now, use Poison Jab!
[Ekans' tail glows violet, then jabs Hitmonchan with it]
Richardson: Counter!
[Hitmonchan's eyes glow red, then he strikes Ekans with said attack]
Simon: Counter is a very tough move, Bambi.
Cilan: If a physical move hits the user, it can fight back by dealing double the damage.
Bambi: [recalls Ekans] Ekans, return!
Richardson: You're lucky you're the only one who gets to switch Pokemon.
Bambi: [tosses another Pokeball] But your Hitmonchan's no match for this one!
[Out of the ball comes a Beautifly]
Beautifly: Beautifly!
Alvin: It's a Beautifly!
Ash: I didn't know Bambi had one.
Brittany: She caught this one as a Wurmple during our bug hunt the other summer day.
Jeanette: But we had no idea it evolved.
Richardson: What a wimpy Pokemon. Hitmonchan, Focus Punch!
[Hitmonchan strikes Beautifly w/said attack, but not much damage is done]
Bambi: I guess you didn't know that a Bug-and-Flying-type Pokemon has a big defense advantage against Fighting-types. Beautifly, Psychic!
[Beautifly's eyes glow, and Hitmonchan gets hit by the attack]
Bambi: Now, use Aerial Ace!
[Beautifly strikes Hitmonchan hard w/said attack; Hitmonchan faints]
Richardson: I think I should've used ThunderPunch instead.
Bambi: Too late.
Jeanette: Hitmonchan is unable to battle. Beautifly wins!
[Richardson recalls Hitmonchan]
Richardson: [tosses another Pokeball] You got lucky that time, but you're no match for this!
[Out of the ball comes a Liepard]
Liepard: Liepard!
Cilan: A Liepard?
Ash: This doesn't look too good.
[He looks up Liepard]
Dexter: Liepard, the Cruel Pokemon, and the evolved form of Purrloin. They sneak up behind their victims, and attack before they have a chance to react.
Bambi: This must be a Dark-type Pokemon. I'll let him make the first move.
Richardson: Liepard, Night Slash!
[Liepard strikes Beautifly w/said attack]
Bambi: Beautifly, use Bug Buzz!
Beautifly: Beautifly!
[It fires said attack at Liepard, hitting it hard]
Liepard: Liepard!
Bambi: You also didn't know that Bug-types have an edge over Dark-types. [recalls Beautifly] Now for a finishing move. [tosses another Pokeball] Magmortar, take it away!
[Out of the ball comes her Magmortar]
Magmortar: Magmortar!
Richardson: [fakes fear] Oh! Oh, now I'm scared!
Bambi: You will be! Magmortar, Focus Blast!
Magmortar: Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaag-- [fires said attack at Liepard] --MORTAR!
[Liepard gets hit hard and faints]
Jeanette: Liepard is unable to battle. Magmortar wins!
Richardson: Liepard, return!
[He recalls Liepard]
Richardson: [tosses another Pokeball] Simipour, finish this wimp!
[Out of the ball comes a Simipour]
Simipour: Simipour!
[Simon looks up Simipour]
Dexter: Simipour, the Geyser Pokemon, and the evolved form of Panpour. The tuft on its head holds water. When the level runs low, it replenishes the tuft by siphoning up water with its tail.
Simon: You'd better recall Magmortar, Bambi. It's up against a Water-type!
Bambi: I can handle this, Simon. No worries. Magmortar, begin with a Thunderbolt!
[Magmortar fires said attack at Simipour]
Richardson: Simipour, Protect!
[Simipour blocks the Thunderbolt w/said move]
Richardson: Now, use Aqua Tail!
[Simipour fires said attack at Magmortar, who takes the hit]
Magmortar: Magmortar!
Bambi: Hang on, Magmortar!
Richardson: Simipour, power up with Rain Dance!
[Simipour casts a spell, and it starts to rain]
Bambi: Fire-type attacks won't work much in this weather. [recalls Magmortar] Magmortar, return!
Alvin: That was Bambi's strongest Pokemon!
Bambi: But I've a better plan. [tosses another Pokeball] Go!
[Out of the ball comes a Pichu]
Pichu: Pichu!
Ash: Pikachu, look!
Pikachu: [smiles in surprise] Chu!
Iris: Oh, it's so cute!
Alvin: It almost looks like Pikachu.
[He looks up Pichu]
Dexter: Pichu, the Tiny Mouse Pokemon, and the pre-evolved form of Pikachu. Like its evolutions, it is capable of storing electricity from the atmosphere. However, this ability requires much practice to perfect.
Richardson: [laughs] That little wimpy Pokemon is the best you've got?! Come on!
Bambi: Save it, Richardson. Pichu, use Thunder!
Pichu: [gathers electricity] Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-- [fires Thunder at Simipour] --CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!
[The rain carries the electricity toward Simipour, and hits it hard]
Simipour: POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUR!!!!!
Richardson: NO!!
Ash: Wow! This Pichu knows Thunder?!
Pikachu: Pika-Pika!
Alvin: Nice job, Bambi!
Bambi: Finish it, Pichu! Volt Tackle!
[Pichu zips toward Simipour, enveloped in electricity]
Pichu: Pi-Pi-Pi-Pi-Pi-Pi-Pi-Pi-Pi-Pi-Pi-Pi-Pi-Pi-Pi-Pi-Pi-Pi-Pi-Pi-Pi-Pi-Pi--! [strikes Simipour] --CHU!!!
[Simipour takes the hit and faints; Pichu takes recoil damage; the rain stops]
Jeanette: Simipour is unable to battle. Pichu wins!
[Pichu jumps into Bambi's arms]
Bambi: Way to go, Pichu! I knew I could count on you!
Pichu: Pichu! Pichu!
Richardson: [recalls Simipour] Your little voltage rat got lucky, Apple. But it's no match for my ultimate Pokemon! [tosses another Pokeball] Go, Ferrothorn!
[Out of the ball comes a Ferrothorn]
Ferrothorn: Ferrothorn!
[Alvin looks up Ferrothorn]
Dexter: Ferrothorn, the Thorn Pot Pokemon, and the evolved form of Ferroseed. Ferrothorn fights by swinging around its three spiky feelers. A hit from its steel spikes can reduce a boulder to rubble.
Bambi: Pichu, use Volt Tackle!
[Pichu, enveloped in electricity, zips toward Ferrothorn and strikes it hard; Pichu suffers recoil damage and winces in more pain]
Pichu: --Chu!
Bambi: What the--?!
Richardson: In addition to the recoil damage from Volt Tackle, your Pichu fell prey to Ferrothorn's ability: Iron Barbs. It deals 12.5% extra damage. Now, Ferrothorn, use Rollout!
[Ferrothorn rolls toward Pichu]
Bambi: Pichu, use Volt Switch!
Pichu: Piiiiiiiiiiiiii-- [zips toward Ferrothorn w/electricity] --CHU!!
[It strikes Ferrothorn just before it can strike back; Pichu returns to its Pokeball]
Bambi: Great! This should bail you outta danger.
[Out of one of Bambi's other Pokeballs comes her Magmortar]
Magmortar: Magmortar!
Iris: Great strategy, Bambi! Now that Pichu can rest safely, and your Magmortar's out, you have a good chance!
Bambi: Okay, Magmortar. Begin with Flamethrower!
Magmortar: Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag-- [fires said attack at Ferrothorn] --MORTAR!!
Richardson: Keep using Rollout, Ferrothorn!
[Ferrothorn rolls toward Magmortar, despite taking a hit from its Flamethrower]
Bambi: Magmortar, Focus Blast!
[Magmortar fires said attack at Ferrothorn, but it dodges and strikes Magmortar]
Magmortar: MORTAR!!
Ash: Be careful, Bambi! Rollout's a Rock-type move. Very dangerous for Fire-types!
Pikachu: Pika!
Bambi: Magmortar, use Fire Blast!
[Magmortar's eyes glow red]
Magmortar: Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag-- [fires Fire Blast at Ferrothorn] --MORTAR!!!!!
[Ferrothorn takes the hit hard]
Richardson: Ferrothorn, Leech Seed!
[Ferrothorn fires seeds at Magmortar, and their vines wrap around Magmortar, sucking its power]
Magmortar: Magmortar!
Ferrothorn: Ferrothorn.
Richardson: Now, Power Whip!
[Ferrothorn strikes Magmortar w/said attack]
Magmortar: MAAAAAAAAAAAAG!!
Bambi: Hang in there, Magmortar! Use Flamethrower!
[Magmortar tries to fire said attack, but is too weak to move]
Magmortar: Magmortar!
[The Leech Seed vines suck away the last of Magmortar's powers; the vines disappear]
Magmortar: Mag-- [slowly falls to the ground] --moooooooooooor-tar...
[It hits the ground hard and faints]
Bambi: Magmortar!
Jeanette: Magmortar is unable to battle. Ferrothorn wins.
Alvin: Bambi's strongest Pokemon lost?!
Brittany: This can't be!
[Bambi recalls Magmortar]
Bambi: You tried hard, Magmortar, and I'm proud of you. [in her mind] With my only Fire-type out, I only have Pichu, Ekans, and Beautifly. And I don't think my little Beautifly can handle such a huge Rollout attack. Plus, Pichu can't handle those Iron Barbs. [tosses another Pokeball] Ekans, back to you!
[Out of the ball comes her Ekans]
Ekans: Ekans!
Richardson: A Poison-type like your Ekans may have an edge against a Grass-type, but against a Steel-type, it's useless!
Bambi: Just to make sure you don't use those Iron Barbs again, I have just the attack. Ekans, Gastro Acid!
[Ekans fires said attack at Ferrothorn, cancelling out its ability]
Ekans: Ekans!
Richardson: So Iron Barbs won't work for the rest of this battle. Big deal! Ferrothorn, Rollout!
[Ferrothorn rolls toward Ekans]
Bambi: Ekans, Mud Bomb!
[Ekans fires said attack at Ferrothorn, stopping it in its tracks]
Bambi: Direct hit!
Richardson: Lucky you, but your Ekans is goin' down! Ferrothorn, Bulldoze!
[Ferrothorn strikes Ekans w/said attack]
Ekans: EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!
Bambi: Ekans!
Richardson: I've been saving this new move for something big. Ferrothorn, Flash Cannon!
[Ferrothorn fires said attack at Ekans, hitting it hard; Ekans hits the ground]
Bambi: Ekans!
Ash: I think it's over.
Cilan: Her other two Pokemon won't have much of an edge against such a huge Pokemon!
Simon: Don't count it out yet.
Alvin: But Ekans hasn't been in much battles lately. It hasn't had much experience.
Richardson: I think this battle's as good as over, and this Five Guys is as good as vandalized.
[Ekans suddenly awakens and glows]
[Bambi gasps]
Richardson: Is this another one of those parlor tricks, Apple?!
[Ekans evolves into an Arbok]
Arbok: [hisses] Arbok!
Richardson: That yellow-bellied Ekans of yours evolved into Arbok!
Ash: Awesome!
[Alvin looks up Arbok]
Dexter: Arbok, the Cobra Pokemon, and the evolved form of Ekans. Arbok has a nasty bite with deadly venom, and if it encounters an enemy, it raises its head, intimidating the opponent with the frightening pattern on its body.
Arbok: Arrrrrrrrr!
Bambi: All right, Arbok! Let's finish off this vandal and get him behind bars! Use Mud Bomb!
[Arbok fires said attack at Ferrothorn, hitting it hard]
Ferrothorn: HORN!
Arbok: Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrr!!
[Its fangs engulf in flames, and Arbok zips toward Ferrothorn]
Richardson: It can't be! It's...!
[Arbok bites Ferrothorn w/its flaming fangs; Ferrothorn takes the hit hard]
Ferrothorn: HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORN!!!
Ash: Bambi, that was Fire Fang!
Bambi: I didn't know Arbok could use that attack!
Simon: It had to evolve to learn it.
Bambi: Boy, am I glad it did. All right, Arbok! Another Fire Fang!
[Arbok strikes Ferrothorn w/said attack again; this time, Ferrothorn suffers a burn ailment]
Ferrothorn: Ferrothorn!
Arbok: Arbok!
Bambi: Now, finish it with Mud Bomb!
[Arbok fires said attack at Ferrothorn, hitting it; Ferrothorn faints]
Jeanette: Ferrothorn is unable to battle. The winner is Arbok! Winning 4-1 is Bambi Apple!
Bambi: WHOO-HOO!!
[Arbok wraps itself around Bambi for an embrace]
Bambi: I knew you could do it, Arbok! I just knew it!
Arbok: Arbok!
Richardson: [recalls Ferrothorn] So, you got lucky this time, Apple. Big whoop. Wanna make somethin' of it?
[He extracts a small gun from his jacket and fires it at Bambi; Arbok jumps out of the way as Bambi takes the hit and hits the ground]
Bernard: OH, MY GOD!!
Alvin: Bambi!
Richardson: She was a total dunderhead. Now, which one of you losers wants to get it next so Mr. Vorstein can award me?
Ash: Get him, Bernard!
[Bernard grabs Richardson and rips off his bulldog mask; it really is Richardson]
Iris: I knew it! It was you!
Richardson: [normal voice] Too bad. Even though you got me, I still got your friend.
[Suddenly, Bambi gets back on her feet, still alive]
Bambi: Excuse me, Richardson, but... [pulls up her shirt halfway, revealing a bulletproof vest] You need to work on your aim.
Alvin: Bambi! You're alive! [to Richardson] And, Richardson, you're a horrible shot.
[Bernard slaps the cuffs on Richardson]
[NYPD cars arrive]
Bernard: [sends Richardson to one of the cars] You have the right to remain silent. If you give up that right, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.
Iris: You okay, Bambi?
Bambi: Never felt better.
Ash: Why did you wear that bulletproof vest?
Bambi: Safety. You never know when one may have a gun.
Arbok: [laughs] Arbok!
[Back at HQ, the gang gives Greg their final report]
Greg: Tell me how you got Mikhail G. Richardson, Bernard.
Bernard: See, first he wanted to get back at the sponsors for cancelling their advertising on his show, so he asked his three college friends to help him vandalize them. The reason he himself wore a bulldog mask and talked like Randy Savage, because his voice was so well-known on the radio, he was afraid he'd be recognized. It did work, until he got caught, and Bambi beat him in a Pokemon battle.
Bambi: I owe it all to Arbok. If it hadn't been for its evolution from Ekans, I don't know what I would've done, since Richardson beat my strongest Pokemon.
Greg: What about the other three vandals?
Bernard: NYPD got them, too. Also, the custodians at WHUP agreed to clean up the vandalized areas.
Ash: Plus, the manager of the Five Guys restaurant Richardson tried to vandalize was so grateful, he gave us each a free meal. Pikachu and I had great double burgers.
Pikachu: [licks his lips] Pika-Pika.
Iris: No more fast food for me for the next week.
Axew: [nods] Axew.
Alvin: But it's worth it to catch that savage vandal.
Bambi: [laughs] "Savage"! Priceless!
[She and Alvin hi-5]
[Cut to a mugshot of the Richardson and the three vandals]
Narrator: Mikhail G. Richardson, Frank Arbogast, Richie Lowenstein, and Don Roper were tried in Manhattan, in and for the state of New York. They were all found guilty of a 145.60: Making graffiti, a 145.65: Possession of graffiti instruments, a 265.09: Criminal use of a firearm in the first degree, and a 110.05: Attempted murder. Richardson was locked away in State Prison for 15 to life, whilst his accomplices were sentenced to 6-24 months in the county jail, and all four were banned for life from all the world's radio stations.
Plus, this is rated TV-PG for use of a gun and vandalism.
=============================================
Narrator: The story you are about to see is fictional.
Narrator: The crimes are made up, but the characters are real.
[In the streets of New York, the Bambi walks toward the studio]
Bambi: [narrates] It was Thursday, 11:40am. It had snowed about 3-4 inches over the weekend, but that didn't stop us. It's melting by now. I'm hoping for an early Spring this Groundhog Day. I was working the day watch out of ACME Crime Net. The captain is Greg Lee. My partners are the Chipmunks and the Chipettes. Head of our computer division is Marnie Carlson. My name is Apple. I'm a singer.
[She enters the studio, then arrives in the alley, where Pokepella awaits with the Chipmunks and the Chipettes]
Bambi: Hi, you guys.
Alvin: Hi, Bambi.
Ash: Had a good night?
Alvin: Yep. But I'm really looking forward to the Super Bowl in less than a couple weeks.
Ash: I'm pullin' for the Giants.
Alvin: Ditto.
[Both fist-bump]
[Greg enters]
Greg: Good morning, all.
Ash: Hi, Greg.
Pikachu: Pika.
Iris: How are things, Captain?
Greg: Just fine.
Cilan: My group and I heard that before the start of 2012, the Chipmunks and the Chipettes were involved in a murder case.
Bambi: I do remember it well. They told me the whole story. Let's look at scenes from the last show of 2011 for reference.
[Clips from the last side-fic are shown]
Bambi: [narrates] The Chipmunks, the Chipettes, and the DigiDestined were investigating the murder of widowed Queens resident Artemis MacGregor. The night before, he was killed in a car crash by masked reckless driver. Also, insurance policies were involved. The company was to pay the beneficiary $400,000 in life insurance, via double indemnity, $30,000 from Mr. MacGregor's car insurance, and $120,000 from car insurance of the true owner of the car that killed Mr. MacGregor: His brother-in-law, John Whittle, who had 24 hours to pick up the insurance money in order to keep it. Mimi and Simon questioned Whittle about the car that he claimed was stolen, Tai, Kari, Izzy, and Alvin questioned the victim's mother and son, the latter of whom was the true beneficiary of the insurance policies, and Daniel Bozzelli, the security guard from the store Mr. Whittle worked in. Later, they went through their facts, and to their surprise, the surveillance videos they got from Mr. Bozzelli were edited to try and keep the true murderer out of jail. The man who was panicking at the sight of the car theft was Bozzelli, and the car thief turned out to be Whittle himself, who wanted all his brother's insurance money for himself. While the DigiDestined went after Whittle, the Chipmunks and the Chipettes challenged Bozzelli to get him to confess to his and Whittle's plan. After Simon's Blastoise defeated Bozzelli's Carracosta, Bozzelli confessed to the plan. Meanwhile, back at Whittle's house, he was about to get to the insurance company, when the DigiDestined surprised him. Whittle confessed and tried to escape in a stolen car, but thanks to Angewomon, his escape plan was botched. He and Bozzelli were taken into custody, and Bozzelli's doing a good 8 years in jail. As for Whittle, all he got was life imprisonment without parole, and during his time, he was killed in a fight with another inmate in prison while attempting to escape.
[Back to the present]
Bambi: And that's what happened. Artemis got justice, his son is over half a million bucks richer, and Whittle's in--
[A man (played by David Alan Grier) enters]
Man: Hello, ACME Crime Net.
Alvin: Greg, who's this?
Greg: Oh, I forgot, you guys haven't met this guy yet. This is Bernard Mullen.
Bernard: [extracts a badge] NYPD officer.
Greg: Bernard, this is Alvin, Simon, Theodore, Brittany, Jeanette, Eleanor, Bambi, Ash, Pikachu, Iris, and Cilan.
Bernard: Pleasure to meet you.
[He and Ash shake hands]
Ash: Pleasure's all ours, Bernard.
Simon: If you're a cop, then how come you don't have a uniform?
Bernard: I'm an undercover cop. I'm also a cab driver, as well as a substitute teacher.
Iris: It's like Kindergarten Cop.
Bernard: Except I teach middle school. Now, ACME Crime Net hired me to help you guys out. I know how those Vorsteins are.
Greg: Now, the Chief just got reports of graffiti vandalism in the Greater New York area.
Brittany: I remember one student in our class back in L.A. got caught spraying graffiti on his classroom's lockers, and he was expelled.
Ash: Where did these incidents happen?
Greg: The Skyview Health Club in the Bronx, Duane-Reade drug stores, and most recently, they moved on to College Point and vandalized the windows of a Five Guys restaurant.
Cilan: Five Guys?
Theodore: One of those fast casual restaurants, Cilan. Delicious burgers. Nice peanuts.
Alvin: Of course, Marsha thinks it's more expensive than In-N-Out Burger back in L.A.
Bambi: Who would wanna do such a thing?
Greg: That's why I turned to you.
Iris: We're on it.
Ash: Ready for action, Pikachu?
Pikachu: Pika-Pika!
Iris: Axew, how 'bout you?
Axew: Axew!
Cilan: Then let's go!
Bambi: [looks at her 6 Pokeballs] Magmortar, Ekans, all of you, I'm counting on you.
Alvin: Only one problem. My ACME Scooter's in the shop.
Simon: Mine, too.
Theodore: Ditto.
Brittany: Mine and my sisters' ran out of gas.
Bambi: Mine's got a flat.
Bernard: Don't worry, kids. Bambi. I'll take you in my cab.
Bambi: Thank you so much, Officer Mullen.
Bernard: Happy to help.
Ash: We'll follow suit, Bernard.
Pikachu: Pika.
Greg: Keep me posted.
[Later, on the Bronx-Whitestone Bridge, Pokepella's ACME Scooters follow Bernard's cab to the Bronx]
Bambi: [narrates] Armed with our newfound friend and undercover cop Bernard Mullen, we set off to the Bronx, where the Skyview Health Club was vandalized.
[The gang's first stop is the Skyview Health Club, which has graffiti written on the walls and the front doors; the manager stands in front]
Manager: You from ACME Crime Net?
Bambi: Yes, sir. Bambi Apple. These are my partners, the Chipmunks and the Chipettes.
Ash: I'm Ash, this is Pikachu, Iris, Axew, and Cilan.
Bernard: And I'm Officer Mullen, NYPD. Your name, sir?
Manager: Cam Freeman. I'm the manager of this health club.
Iris: When did the vandalism occur, Mr. Freeman?
Freeman: Around 10:00am yesterday. I saw three guys outside the house, and they sprayed graffiti all over the walls and the front door. Take this, for instance.
[He points to one of the walls, which says "All Hail Vorstein!"]
Alvin: "All Hail Vorstein"? I knew Klaus was up to something!
Freeman: Someone you know, kid?
Alvin: Someone I know? Mr. Freeman, didn't you hear the news about Klaus Vorstein? Months ago, he escaped from prison.
Freeman: Oh, him. Sorry. I've a tendency to forget things. Anyway, when security saw the vandals on the surveillance cameras, I ran outside and scared them away.
Ash: Can you describe those guys, Mr. Freeman?
Freeman: When I looked at the surveillance videos, which, by the way, were all in color, one of them had a mohawk, the shortest one had a pair of red boots on, and the tallest one was bald, and he had graffiti marks on his shirt.
Cilan: [takes notes] One has a mohawk, one has red boots and is short, one is tall, bald, and has graffiti marks on his shirt. Got it.
Freeman: [hands each member of the gang a card for his club] Here's my card. If you ever need to stop by this health club, or if you have a lead on the vandals, the number's right here.
Bambi: We'll make sure to be in touch with you, Mr. Freeman.
Bernard: Let's go, guys.
[The gang exits]
[Back at ACME Crime Net HQ, in ACME Labs, computer expert Marnie Carlson (played by Deborah Estelle Phillips) builds up a database on her laptop]
Bambi: [narrates] When we got back to headquarters, we asked our computer expert: Marnie Carlson, to build up a database of the vandalism reports on her computer.
[Alvin and Bambi enter]
Alvin: Afternoon, Marnie. Any luck?
Marnie: As a matter of fact, Alvin, check this out.
[She opens up an image of a map of Greater New York, with green dots on the drug stores, health clubs, and Five Guys restaurants, and red X's on those that were vandalized]
Marnie: This is a map of Greater New York, and the green-dotted areas are the Duane-Reade drug stores, the Skyview Health Clubs, and the Five Guys restaurants. Those that have the red X's are the ones that had been vandalized.
Bambi: [points to the location of the health club from before] This is the one we just got back from. Plus, the manager told us that the vandals had the following descriptions: One had a mohawk, one was short with red boots, and the other's shirt was covered in graffiti, and he was tall.
Marnie: Exactly what some of the victims told me about suspects when I called them while you were out. However, the manager of the Five Guys restaurant in College Point said that the vandal he saw was different from your suspects.
Alvin: A fourth vandal?
Bambi: Some teamwork.
Marnie: This man was wearing a polyester suit, wore a bulldog mask, and talked like Randy Savage.
Alvin: The late, great Macho Man of wrestling?
Marnie: Yep. When the manager came out to confront the vandal, he tried to call the police, but the vandal escaped.
Bambi: He should've called while he was still inside.
Marnie: Too late now.
[The phone rings]
Marnie: Excuse me.
[She picks up the phone]
Marnie: ACME Crime Net. Carlson. Where? Who? Uh-huh. I heard he did the same thing to the one in College Point.
Bambi: Another Five Guys?
Alvin: But where?
Marnie: Thanks. I'll tell 'em, and I'll keep in touch.
[She hangs up]
Marnie: We got another one.
[She places an X on the Five Guys location in Bayside]
Marnie: Bayside.
Alvin: All the way in California?
Bambi: Alvin, that's Saved by the Bell.
Marnie: This Bayside is a neighborhood in Queens. It's one of the most expensive areas to live in Queens, with well kept homes and landscaping.
Alvin: So, a Five Guys restaurant was reported vandalized there?
Marnie: Yep. Just last night at around 6:00pm. And the vandal there had the same description as the one who did the Five Guys in College Point.
Bambi: Polyester? Bulldog mask? Savage imitation?
Marnie: The works.
Alvin: There's only one Five Guys left un-vandalized.
Bambi: Where, Alvin?
Alvin: 316 West 34th Street. Manhattan.
Marnie: And it's a big one. Right between Baskin-Robbins and the Cafe Bistro.
Bambi: By golly. But there's just one thing. Why would 4 vandals wanna vandalize 3 companies?
Marnie: I'm not sure, Bambi, but I've got a strange suspicion that there's a pattern involved.
[Later, in the Pokepella office, Ash is on the phone]
Bambi: [narrates] Later that day, 5:11pm, after I told Pokepella the news about the 4th suspect, while we searched for patterns on the vandalized companies, Ash got a phone call from the Chief for a progress report.
Chief: [on phone] A bulldog?
Ash: Mm-hmm. Exactly what Bambi told me.
Chief: I don't care if one of those vandals wore a mask that looked like a rhino. I want all those vandals behind bars!
Ash: Right.
Chief: Keep me posted.
Ash: As soon as we get something.
[He hangs up]
Pikachu: Pika-Pi?
Iris: Was that Greg?
Ash: Nope. The Chief.
Cilan: Of all people?
Ash: Yep. She wants us to crack this case.
Iris: Do you think the Chief's got a terrible attitude, Ash?
Ash: Can't say that she does, Iris. [crosses his fingers] Besides, she and Greg are just like that. Aren't they, Pikachu?
Pikachu: [nods] Pika.
[Bernard enters with a print-out]
Bernard: Ash, we got a lead. Take a look at this print-out I got from Marnie.
[He shows a print-out of common denominators]
Iris: These look like common denominators of the vandalized stores and the health club.
Bernard: Yep. See, they all use the same company of uniforms, they use a variety of dry cleaners, and the same coffee service. Unfortunately, none of these help. But we did find something in their advertising.
Cilan: They all do newspapers. Only different ones.
Bernard: But check their radio advertising.
Iris: Hmm... I can't quite make out the pattern, Bernard.
Bernard: It's quite simple. All these companies advertise on but one station.
[He draws a circle around the name of the one station all 3 companies advertise on:]
Bernard: WHUP-AM.
Ash: Whup? Interesting.
Bernard: That's what I thought. So I asked Marnie to print out a copy of the station's program schedule.
[He extracts said copy and hands it to Ash]
Ash: Monday-Friday on top, Saturday on the bottom. Seems as if they like to advertise all over the schedule.
Bernard: True dat, Ash, but look at this.
[He points to the one show where all 3 companies advertise:]
Bernard: All companies advertise on one show Monday-Saturday. Bashin' Banter With Mikhail G. Richardson.
Cilan: You're right, Bernard. Monday-Friday at 6:00pm, and on Saturdays at 2:00pm.
Bernard: And you're not gonna believe what else Marnie found. She talked to the station manager and learned that every one of these companies cancelled their sponsorship just before their facilities were vandalized.
Ash: It looks as though we've got our men.
Bernard: I'm gonna take Bambi and the kids over to the station. I'll keep you guys posted if we need you.
[He exits the office]
Ash: Good luck.
[Later, in the streets of Greater New York, Bernard's cab is on its way to WHUP]
Bambi: [narrates] We were on our way to WHUP, a 300-watt AM radio station in Queens. Mikhail G. Richardson was a controversial radio show host who liked to insult his audience, but for some strange reason, he seemed to be quite popular.
Bernard: You guys ever heard Mikhail G. Richardson on the radio?
Bambi: Whenever the Chipmunks and the Chipettes and I are about to drive to dinner, I keep hearing that same guy's voice coming from one guy's radio. Richardson's always yelling at his callers.
Eleanor: Ugh. Creepy. He likes to call his callers bad names, make dirty jokes about them, and even hang up on them.
Jeanette: If you ask me, he's a total pistol.
Brittany: I'll say.
Bernard: You like him, don't you?
Alvin: Like him? Bernard, I hate him! He's a terrible host.
Theodore: When will he ever get fired?
Simon: That depends. He gets worse every year over the past 5 years he's done his show.
[The cab parks at the WHUP-AM radio station; the 8 enter the station and walk up to the manager]
Bambi: Evening, sir. Bambi Apple. ACME Crime Net. These are my partners, the Chipmunks and the Chipettes, and this is Bernard Mullen.
Bernard: NYPD.
Alvin: We'd like to see Mr. Mikhail G. Richardson.
Manager: He's on the air at the moment. Wait for him in the hallway.
[The gang enters the hallway, then they notice Mikhail G. Richardson (played by Dave Coulier) doing his show through the window of a soundproof booth]
Richardson: [to a caller] Aw, come on. That's the most absurd thing these ears ever heard! Some college guy you are. They should send you back to kindergarten, where ungrateful, brainless coots like you belong!
[He hangs up, then pushes a button]
Richardson: More calls in a moment.
[He turns off the microphone, then notices the gang]
[Bambi points at the others and herself, then to the booth, as a sign to ask Richardson if they could come inside]
[Richardson nods and signals them inside; the gang enters the booth]
Bambi: Good evening, Mr. Richardson. I'm Bambi Apple.
Alvin: Alvin Seville, and these are my brothers, Simon and Theodore.
Brittany: Brittany Miller, and these are my sisters, Jeanette and Eleanor.
All 7: [reveal their badges] ACME Crime Net.
Bernard: [reveals his badge] Bernard Mullen.
Richardson: NYPD, eh? You look more like a cabbie.
Bernard: You could say that.
Brittany: I wonder if we could ask you some questions.
Richardson: I'm in a commercial break. I could use a few minutes. Whattaya want with me?
Alvin: We noticed 3 of your sponsors have cancelled lately.
Richardson: They're a bunch of ugly caterpillars.
Jeanette: But something strange has happened to all 3 of them since they quit sponsoring your show, Mr. Richardson.
Richardson: What? Their sales are down? Robbery? Head of the companies died?
Simon: None, sir. Vandalism.
Richardson: Well, good. It couldn't have happened to any sweeter bunch of mangy mongrels.
Theodore: Mr. Richardson, have you any idea why they stopped sponsoring your program?
Richardson: Simple, Theo. Those gutless traders said I was too controversial, those little chickens.
Bernard: We think a man with your 'tude might wanna pay those sponsors back for cancelling.
Richardson: Aw, come on. I don't need 'em anymore. I'm doin' just fine without 'em. I can always get new sponsors.
Alvin: We don't think so, Richardson.
Richardson: Then you don't think at all, Al.
Alvin: We do so.
Bambi: We think you and 3 other guys had reason to vandalize the Skyway Health Club, Duane-Reade drug stores, and Five Guys restaurants, Mr. Richardson.
Richardson: Impossible, mophead. I mean, I knew those guys from college. Frank Arbogast with the graffiti shirt, Don Roper with the blazin' red boots, and that mohawked Richie Lowenstein. They treated me like I was their big brother. They thought of me as a great leader for their basketball team. I can't let 'em do such a thing on my account. Besides, I didn't do any of the vandalizing. I was on the air at the time.
Bernard: We didn't say what time the vandalisms occured.
Richardson: I read it all in the papers.
Alvin: It was never printed in any of the papers.
Richardson: Listen, needle nose. I heard about it somewhere. When did they occur?
Brittany: Most of them were between 8:00 and 10:00pm.
Richardson: I'm on the air between 6 and 10 every weeknight.
Jeanette: Some of the vandalisms were on Saturdays between 2:30 and 3:00pm.
Richardson: Saturdays, I'm on the air from 2:00 to 6:00pm. You 8 egg-faces got the wrong guy. Just float on outta here!
Simon: Thank you for your time, sir. Come on, guys. Let's go.
[He and the gang exit the booth as Richardson returns to work]
[The gang returns to the lobby, where Jeanette notices a coverage map on the wall]
Jeanette: Guys, look at this.
Manager: That's our coverage map, ma'am.
Simon: I see. The shaded area is where the station can be heard clearly.
Manager: Exactly. Copies of it can be printed out at our website: WHUP.com. Our sales staff uses the map to sell advertisers.
Bambi: By the way, sir, has Mr. Richardson been on the air during his regular time slot?
Manager: Pardon, ma'am?
Bambi: Has he taken a leave of absence for any reason during the past few days?
Manager: Oh, no, ma'am. He's been here all the time. Every year, he takes a vacation at the same place.
Alvin: When and where?
Manager: For the entire month of December, he takes a religious retreat.
[The gang is a bit surprised]
Bernard: We'll keep in touch, sir.
[He and the rest of the gang exit the station]
[Back at HQ, the gang, joined by Pokepella and Marnie, looks at a giant print-out of the WHUP's coverage map, which is combined with the map of vandalized facilities]
Bambi: [narrates] Later that night, when we got back to headquarters, we put out an APB on the other three vandals and decided to figure out who would make them want to vandalize Mr. Richardson's sponsors.
Marnie: Now, look. All but two of the vandalisms fall within the area, and those two don't follow the voice pattern or the time pattern. I can safely say that Richardson is your man.
Ash: Alvin tells me he's got an ironclad alibi.
Pikachu: Pika-Pika.
Marnie: Plus, I got a background on him. He used to be a big name in radio. He had a network call-in show and made thousands of bucks in the 1970s.
Iris: How'd he wind up hosting a show in a little 300-watt station in Queens, Marnie?
Marnie: He's always been highly controversial, Iris. One day, he was on the air with a Triple Nine Society, and publically offended Mike Keefe.
Bernard: So he got fired?
Marnie: Yep. Then he went to smaller and smaller radio stations locally, but nobody wanted to take a chance on him, despite his big audiences. And get this, guys. You know what he did in the late 90s?
Alvin: No. What?
Marnie: He did a radio show with comedy impressions. His last program in 1999 was called: "Randy Savage meets Rocky and Bullwinkle". He did it in honor of the upcoming movie of the latter two characters.
Ash: Wait a tick. He did a Randy Savage impression?
Marnie: Yes, Ash. And if the 4th vandal sounds like Randy Savage,...
Bambi: Then we've got our man!
Ash: And look.
[He walks up to the map and points to a green-dotted location in the advertising area]
Ash: There's one Five Guys in the advertising area that hasn't been vandalized.
Bambi: The one in Manhattan!
Iris: When Richardson goes for it, we'll be there to snatch him.
Alvin: I'm not quite sure. You don't think Richardson would vandalize that place now.
Iris: Why not, Alvin?
Alvin: He knows we're watching him. He wouldn't try anything so foolish.
Ash: Alvin, if Richardson is our man, and we're sure he is, he's got a foolproof way of vandalizing. He's got a mile-high ego, a perfect alibi, and a working M.O. He'll surely try to knock over the Five Guys in Manhattan.
Alvin: I don't know, Ash.
[Greg enters]
Greg: Any progress, guys?
Bambi: We're getting extra close, Captain.
Greg: Great. You figured out who's responsible?
Cilan: We put out an APB on the 3 vandals we heard about from Mr. Freeman at the health club, Captain. As for the fourth one, who we suspect is their leader, we've reason to suspect he's gonna vandalize the Five Guys restaurant in Manhattan.
Greg: But did you figure out who it was?
Simon: Mikhail G. Richardson, the controversial disc jockey.
Greg: Oh, that loudmouth. I hated his show. I want him fired.
Brittany: Once we arrest him, Greg, you may get your wish. Maybe even more.
Greg: I hope you're right, Brittany. Anyway, I taped a report for the 11:00pm news. Lemme know if I can be of any help.
[He exits]
Ash: That's it!
Bambi and Ash: He taped it!
Iris: Yeah! Richardson put a digital recording on his show, then vandalized the companies' facilities!
Alvin: But it's a live phone-in show. How could he have done it?
Bambi: I don't know how he does it, but he's doing it. I'm gonna get in touch with the audio lab. Bernard, I need you to call the manager of the Five Guys in Manhattan.
Bernard: Right.
[Both extract their iPhones and dial the numbers]
Bambi: [narrates] While I put a call through to the audio lab, Bernard got in touch with a Five Guys manager and told him we thought his joint might be next. He agreed to help out and gave us his cooperation.
Bernard: Thanks.
[He and Bambi hang up]
Alvin: You got your Pokeballs ready?
Bambi, Simon, Theodore, and the Chipettes: Check!
Ash, Iris, and Cilan: Check!
Ash: Ready for action, Pikachu?
Pikachu: Pika!
Bambi: Let's roll!
[They all hurry out]
[8:00pm; at the Five Guys restaurant in Manhattan on West 34th Street, Ash, Iris, Cilan, and Bambi are undercover as employees; Bambi hands a customer a tray of his meal; the customer hands her the money (and extra change)]
Bambi: Thank you, sir. Enjoy.
[She places the money in the cash register]
Bambi: Ash, everything all right with you and the others?
[Ash, Iris, Cilan, and Bernard are preparing the food]
Ash: I guess so. How's Pikachu doing with Axew and the 'Munk team?
Bambi: Doing fine.
[The Chipmunks, the Chipettes, Pikachu, and Axew are undercover as regular customers; they are enjoying their meals]
Theodore: Care for a French fry, Pikachu?
Pikachu: Pika-chu.
[Theodore feeds him a fry; Pikachu licks his lips, then takes a sip of his soda]
Brittany: I hope this plan works.
[Alvin looks at his watch]
Alvin: Let's have a listen to Richardson's show. Bernard, radio!
[Bernard tunes the radio]
Richardson: [on radio] 'Sup? I'm Mikhail G. Richardson, and you're a sprained spaghetti. What's on your mind, caller?
Caller: Dude, Where's My Car?
Richardson: What? Your car was stolen? Come on! Why can't you learn to buy insurance on these things?
[As he continues talking, another customer walks up to the registers]
Bambi: Evening. How may I help you?
Customer: I'm lookin' for a 1963 Rambler.
Bambi: A car? I'm sorry, sir. This is a fast food restaurant. Not a police station. Why don't you dial information?
Customer: Oh. Never mind. I'll just have a regular Pepsi.
Bambi: Cilan, one regular Pepsi.
[Cilan enters with a regular-sized cup of Pepsi; Bambi hands it to the customer]
Bambi: [enters the order into the register] $2.17, please.
[The customer hands her the money, takes his drink, and leaves]
Richardson: [on radio] Fire away, you dimwitted dumbell. What's your story?
Caller 2: I've deep concern for escargot.
[Bambi reacts and listens closely]
Richardson: Aw, come on, you bleeding heart! Snails are good cooked.
Caller 2: Nobody should be allowed stuff and cook 'em. Not here in the U.S., not anywhere!
Richardson: Uh-huh. What are ya? Some sorta animal-rights activist, dim-bulb?!
Iris: Bambi, you think the kids need anymore sodas?
Bambi: Hold it, Iris. Listen.
Caller 2: You know, if they stopped doing that, there would be more nice, little houses in the forests.
Iris: I don't get it.
Bambi: Richardson's gonna say this.
Richardson: [as Bambi mouths him] I've heard of slug lovers before, but you're ridiculous!
Bambi: I heard that same thing about 2 months ago.
Iris: Then you're right.
Ash: What's goin' on?
Iris: Ash, you and Bambi were right. Richardson records all his shows, and he replays an old recording, sneaks out of his station, and vandalism is afoot.
Pikachu: Pika-Pi!
Ash: What is it, Pikachu?!
Pikachu: [points to the window] Pika-Pika!
[Ash notices a man in a bulldog mask and a polyester suit out the window; the man has 2 cans of graffiti on hand]
Ash: There's our vandal.
[Bambi points to Jeanette, who enters the A/V room, turns off the radio, and talks into a microphone; her voice is heard over the loudspeaker]
Jeanette: [over loudspeaker] We interrupt Bashin' Banter With Mikhail G. Richardson for an important announcement. Mikhail G. Richardson, popular radio loudmouth, is, at this moment, preparing to vandalize a Five Guys restaurant in West 34th Street in Manhattan.
[Bambi removes her hat and apron, then slowly heads for the door]
Jeanette: As Richardson readies his graffiti cans, he is suddenly confronted by an ACME Crime Net detective.
[Bambi swiftly heads out the door and faces Richardson]
Bambi: Freeze! ACME Crime Net!
Richardson: [imitates Randy Savage] Oh! Real sweet, little lady. But it's a little late. I've got a vandalism scheme to get to.
Bambi: You will do no such thing, Richardson. Drop the cans and get your hands up!
Richardson: [drops the cans] Okay. No graffiti. But only on one condition. A Pokemon battle!
Bambi: Since when are you a Pokemon trainer?
Richardson: Well-trained for 5 years. 4-on-4's okay?
Bambi: Deal!
[The rest of the gang joins her]
Richardson: Fine.
Jeanette: This will be a 4-on-4 battle. The first side whose Pokemon are all unable to continue will be eliminated. In addition, only an ACME agent is permitted to switch Pokemon. Good luck!
Richardson: Go, Hitmonchan!
[Out of the ball comes a Hitmonchan]
Hitmonchan: Hitmonchan!
Bambi: Piece of cake. [tosses a Pokeball] Ekans, I choose you!
[Out of the ball comes her Ekans]
Ekans: Ekans!
Richardson: Hitmonchan, begin with Bullet Punch!
[Hitmonchan repeatedly punches Ekans w/said attack]
Bambi: Ekans, Poison Sting!
[Ekans fires said attack at Hitmonchan, hitting and poisoning him]
Ekans: Ekans!
Bambi: Now, use Poison Jab!
[Ekans' tail glows violet, then jabs Hitmonchan with it]
Richardson: Counter!
[Hitmonchan's eyes glow red, then he strikes Ekans with said attack]
Simon: Counter is a very tough move, Bambi.
Cilan: If a physical move hits the user, it can fight back by dealing double the damage.
Bambi: [recalls Ekans] Ekans, return!
Richardson: You're lucky you're the only one who gets to switch Pokemon.
Bambi: [tosses another Pokeball] But your Hitmonchan's no match for this one!
[Out of the ball comes a Beautifly]
Beautifly: Beautifly!
Alvin: It's a Beautifly!
Ash: I didn't know Bambi had one.
Brittany: She caught this one as a Wurmple during our bug hunt the other summer day.
Jeanette: But we had no idea it evolved.
Richardson: What a wimpy Pokemon. Hitmonchan, Focus Punch!
[Hitmonchan strikes Beautifly w/said attack, but not much damage is done]
Bambi: I guess you didn't know that a Bug-and-Flying-type Pokemon has a big defense advantage against Fighting-types. Beautifly, Psychic!
[Beautifly's eyes glow, and Hitmonchan gets hit by the attack]
Bambi: Now, use Aerial Ace!
[Beautifly strikes Hitmonchan hard w/said attack; Hitmonchan faints]
Richardson: I think I should've used ThunderPunch instead.
Bambi: Too late.
Jeanette: Hitmonchan is unable to battle. Beautifly wins!
[Richardson recalls Hitmonchan]
Richardson: [tosses another Pokeball] You got lucky that time, but you're no match for this!
[Out of the ball comes a Liepard]
Liepard: Liepard!
Cilan: A Liepard?
Ash: This doesn't look too good.
[He looks up Liepard]
Dexter: Liepard, the Cruel Pokemon, and the evolved form of Purrloin. They sneak up behind their victims, and attack before they have a chance to react.
Bambi: This must be a Dark-type Pokemon. I'll let him make the first move.
Richardson: Liepard, Night Slash!
[Liepard strikes Beautifly w/said attack]
Bambi: Beautifly, use Bug Buzz!
Beautifly: Beautifly!
[It fires said attack at Liepard, hitting it hard]
Liepard: Liepard!
Bambi: You also didn't know that Bug-types have an edge over Dark-types. [recalls Beautifly] Now for a finishing move. [tosses another Pokeball] Magmortar, take it away!
[Out of the ball comes her Magmortar]
Magmortar: Magmortar!
Richardson: [fakes fear] Oh! Oh, now I'm scared!
Bambi: You will be! Magmortar, Focus Blast!
Magmortar: Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaag-- [fires said attack at Liepard] --MORTAR!
[Liepard gets hit hard and faints]
Jeanette: Liepard is unable to battle. Magmortar wins!
Richardson: Liepard, return!
[He recalls Liepard]
Richardson: [tosses another Pokeball] Simipour, finish this wimp!
[Out of the ball comes a Simipour]
Simipour: Simipour!
[Simon looks up Simipour]
Dexter: Simipour, the Geyser Pokemon, and the evolved form of Panpour. The tuft on its head holds water. When the level runs low, it replenishes the tuft by siphoning up water with its tail.
Simon: You'd better recall Magmortar, Bambi. It's up against a Water-type!
Bambi: I can handle this, Simon. No worries. Magmortar, begin with a Thunderbolt!
[Magmortar fires said attack at Simipour]
Richardson: Simipour, Protect!
[Simipour blocks the Thunderbolt w/said move]
Richardson: Now, use Aqua Tail!
[Simipour fires said attack at Magmortar, who takes the hit]
Magmortar: Magmortar!
Bambi: Hang on, Magmortar!
Richardson: Simipour, power up with Rain Dance!
[Simipour casts a spell, and it starts to rain]
Bambi: Fire-type attacks won't work much in this weather. [recalls Magmortar] Magmortar, return!
Alvin: That was Bambi's strongest Pokemon!
Bambi: But I've a better plan. [tosses another Pokeball] Go!
[Out of the ball comes a Pichu]
Pichu: Pichu!
Ash: Pikachu, look!
Pikachu: [smiles in surprise] Chu!
Iris: Oh, it's so cute!
Alvin: It almost looks like Pikachu.
[He looks up Pichu]
Dexter: Pichu, the Tiny Mouse Pokemon, and the pre-evolved form of Pikachu. Like its evolutions, it is capable of storing electricity from the atmosphere. However, this ability requires much practice to perfect.
Richardson: [laughs] That little wimpy Pokemon is the best you've got?! Come on!
Bambi: Save it, Richardson. Pichu, use Thunder!
Pichu: [gathers electricity] Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-- [fires Thunder at Simipour] --CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!
[The rain carries the electricity toward Simipour, and hits it hard]
Simipour: POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUR!!!!!
Richardson: NO!!
Ash: Wow! This Pichu knows Thunder?!
Pikachu: Pika-Pika!
Alvin: Nice job, Bambi!
Bambi: Finish it, Pichu! Volt Tackle!
[Pichu zips toward Simipour, enveloped in electricity]
Pichu: Pi-Pi-Pi-Pi-Pi-Pi-Pi-Pi-Pi-Pi-Pi-Pi-Pi-Pi-Pi-Pi-Pi-Pi-Pi-Pi-Pi-Pi-Pi--! [strikes Simipour] --CHU!!!
[Simipour takes the hit and faints; Pichu takes recoil damage; the rain stops]
Jeanette: Simipour is unable to battle. Pichu wins!
[Pichu jumps into Bambi's arms]
Bambi: Way to go, Pichu! I knew I could count on you!
Pichu: Pichu! Pichu!
Richardson: [recalls Simipour] Your little voltage rat got lucky, Apple. But it's no match for my ultimate Pokemon! [tosses another Pokeball] Go, Ferrothorn!
[Out of the ball comes a Ferrothorn]
Ferrothorn: Ferrothorn!
[Alvin looks up Ferrothorn]
Dexter: Ferrothorn, the Thorn Pot Pokemon, and the evolved form of Ferroseed. Ferrothorn fights by swinging around its three spiky feelers. A hit from its steel spikes can reduce a boulder to rubble.
Bambi: Pichu, use Volt Tackle!
[Pichu, enveloped in electricity, zips toward Ferrothorn and strikes it hard; Pichu suffers recoil damage and winces in more pain]
Pichu: --Chu!
Bambi: What the--?!
Richardson: In addition to the recoil damage from Volt Tackle, your Pichu fell prey to Ferrothorn's ability: Iron Barbs. It deals 12.5% extra damage. Now, Ferrothorn, use Rollout!
[Ferrothorn rolls toward Pichu]
Bambi: Pichu, use Volt Switch!
Pichu: Piiiiiiiiiiiiii-- [zips toward Ferrothorn w/electricity] --CHU!!
[It strikes Ferrothorn just before it can strike back; Pichu returns to its Pokeball]
Bambi: Great! This should bail you outta danger.
[Out of one of Bambi's other Pokeballs comes her Magmortar]
Magmortar: Magmortar!
Iris: Great strategy, Bambi! Now that Pichu can rest safely, and your Magmortar's out, you have a good chance!
Bambi: Okay, Magmortar. Begin with Flamethrower!
Magmortar: Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag-- [fires said attack at Ferrothorn] --MORTAR!!
Richardson: Keep using Rollout, Ferrothorn!
[Ferrothorn rolls toward Magmortar, despite taking a hit from its Flamethrower]
Bambi: Magmortar, Focus Blast!
[Magmortar fires said attack at Ferrothorn, but it dodges and strikes Magmortar]
Magmortar: MORTAR!!
Ash: Be careful, Bambi! Rollout's a Rock-type move. Very dangerous for Fire-types!
Pikachu: Pika!
Bambi: Magmortar, use Fire Blast!
[Magmortar's eyes glow red]
Magmortar: Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag-- [fires Fire Blast at Ferrothorn] --MORTAR!!!!!
[Ferrothorn takes the hit hard]
Richardson: Ferrothorn, Leech Seed!
[Ferrothorn fires seeds at Magmortar, and their vines wrap around Magmortar, sucking its power]
Magmortar: Magmortar!
Ferrothorn: Ferrothorn.
Richardson: Now, Power Whip!
[Ferrothorn strikes Magmortar w/said attack]
Magmortar: MAAAAAAAAAAAAG!!
Bambi: Hang in there, Magmortar! Use Flamethrower!
[Magmortar tries to fire said attack, but is too weak to move]
Magmortar: Magmortar!
[The Leech Seed vines suck away the last of Magmortar's powers; the vines disappear]
Magmortar: Mag-- [slowly falls to the ground] --moooooooooooor-tar...
[It hits the ground hard and faints]
Bambi: Magmortar!
Jeanette: Magmortar is unable to battle. Ferrothorn wins.
Alvin: Bambi's strongest Pokemon lost?!
Brittany: This can't be!
[Bambi recalls Magmortar]
Bambi: You tried hard, Magmortar, and I'm proud of you. [in her mind] With my only Fire-type out, I only have Pichu, Ekans, and Beautifly. And I don't think my little Beautifly can handle such a huge Rollout attack. Plus, Pichu can't handle those Iron Barbs. [tosses another Pokeball] Ekans, back to you!
[Out of the ball comes her Ekans]
Ekans: Ekans!
Richardson: A Poison-type like your Ekans may have an edge against a Grass-type, but against a Steel-type, it's useless!
Bambi: Just to make sure you don't use those Iron Barbs again, I have just the attack. Ekans, Gastro Acid!
[Ekans fires said attack at Ferrothorn, cancelling out its ability]
Ekans: Ekans!
Richardson: So Iron Barbs won't work for the rest of this battle. Big deal! Ferrothorn, Rollout!
[Ferrothorn rolls toward Ekans]
Bambi: Ekans, Mud Bomb!
[Ekans fires said attack at Ferrothorn, stopping it in its tracks]
Bambi: Direct hit!
Richardson: Lucky you, but your Ekans is goin' down! Ferrothorn, Bulldoze!
[Ferrothorn strikes Ekans w/said attack]
Ekans: EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!
Bambi: Ekans!
Richardson: I've been saving this new move for something big. Ferrothorn, Flash Cannon!
[Ferrothorn fires said attack at Ekans, hitting it hard; Ekans hits the ground]
Bambi: Ekans!
Ash: I think it's over.
Cilan: Her other two Pokemon won't have much of an edge against such a huge Pokemon!
Simon: Don't count it out yet.
Alvin: But Ekans hasn't been in much battles lately. It hasn't had much experience.
Richardson: I think this battle's as good as over, and this Five Guys is as good as vandalized.
[Ekans suddenly awakens and glows]
[Bambi gasps]
Richardson: Is this another one of those parlor tricks, Apple?!
[Ekans evolves into an Arbok]
Arbok: [hisses] Arbok!
Richardson: That yellow-bellied Ekans of yours evolved into Arbok!
Ash: Awesome!
[Alvin looks up Arbok]
Dexter: Arbok, the Cobra Pokemon, and the evolved form of Ekans. Arbok has a nasty bite with deadly venom, and if it encounters an enemy, it raises its head, intimidating the opponent with the frightening pattern on its body.
Arbok: Arrrrrrrrr!
Bambi: All right, Arbok! Let's finish off this vandal and get him behind bars! Use Mud Bomb!
[Arbok fires said attack at Ferrothorn, hitting it hard]
Ferrothorn: HORN!
Arbok: Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrr!!
[Its fangs engulf in flames, and Arbok zips toward Ferrothorn]
Richardson: It can't be! It's...!
[Arbok bites Ferrothorn w/its flaming fangs; Ferrothorn takes the hit hard]
Ferrothorn: HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORN!!!
Ash: Bambi, that was Fire Fang!
Bambi: I didn't know Arbok could use that attack!
Simon: It had to evolve to learn it.
Bambi: Boy, am I glad it did. All right, Arbok! Another Fire Fang!
[Arbok strikes Ferrothorn w/said attack again; this time, Ferrothorn suffers a burn ailment]
Ferrothorn: Ferrothorn!
Arbok: Arbok!
Bambi: Now, finish it with Mud Bomb!
[Arbok fires said attack at Ferrothorn, hitting it; Ferrothorn faints]
Jeanette: Ferrothorn is unable to battle. The winner is Arbok! Winning 4-1 is Bambi Apple!
Bambi: WHOO-HOO!!
[Arbok wraps itself around Bambi for an embrace]
Bambi: I knew you could do it, Arbok! I just knew it!
Arbok: Arbok!
Richardson: [recalls Ferrothorn] So, you got lucky this time, Apple. Big whoop. Wanna make somethin' of it?
[He extracts a small gun from his jacket and fires it at Bambi; Arbok jumps out of the way as Bambi takes the hit and hits the ground]
Bernard: OH, MY GOD!!
Alvin: Bambi!
Richardson: She was a total dunderhead. Now, which one of you losers wants to get it next so Mr. Vorstein can award me?
Ash: Get him, Bernard!
[Bernard grabs Richardson and rips off his bulldog mask; it really is Richardson]
Iris: I knew it! It was you!
Richardson: [normal voice] Too bad. Even though you got me, I still got your friend.
[Suddenly, Bambi gets back on her feet, still alive]
Bambi: Excuse me, Richardson, but... [pulls up her shirt halfway, revealing a bulletproof vest] You need to work on your aim.
Alvin: Bambi! You're alive! [to Richardson] And, Richardson, you're a horrible shot.
[Bernard slaps the cuffs on Richardson]
[NYPD cars arrive]
Bernard: [sends Richardson to one of the cars] You have the right to remain silent. If you give up that right, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.
Iris: You okay, Bambi?
Bambi: Never felt better.
Ash: Why did you wear that bulletproof vest?
Bambi: Safety. You never know when one may have a gun.
Arbok: [laughs] Arbok!
[Back at HQ, the gang gives Greg their final report]
Greg: Tell me how you got Mikhail G. Richardson, Bernard.
Bernard: See, first he wanted to get back at the sponsors for cancelling their advertising on his show, so he asked his three college friends to help him vandalize them. The reason he himself wore a bulldog mask and talked like Randy Savage, because his voice was so well-known on the radio, he was afraid he'd be recognized. It did work, until he got caught, and Bambi beat him in a Pokemon battle.
Bambi: I owe it all to Arbok. If it hadn't been for its evolution from Ekans, I don't know what I would've done, since Richardson beat my strongest Pokemon.
Greg: What about the other three vandals?
Bernard: NYPD got them, too. Also, the custodians at WHUP agreed to clean up the vandalized areas.
Ash: Plus, the manager of the Five Guys restaurant Richardson tried to vandalize was so grateful, he gave us each a free meal. Pikachu and I had great double burgers.
Pikachu: [licks his lips] Pika-Pika.
Iris: No more fast food for me for the next week.
Axew: [nods] Axew.
Alvin: But it's worth it to catch that savage vandal.
Bambi: [laughs] "Savage"! Priceless!
[She and Alvin hi-5]
[Cut to a mugshot of the Richardson and the three vandals]
Narrator: Mikhail G. Richardson, Frank Arbogast, Richie Lowenstein, and Don Roper were tried in Manhattan, in and for the state of New York. They were all found guilty of a 145.60: Making graffiti, a 145.65: Possession of graffiti instruments, a 265.09: Criminal use of a firearm in the first degree, and a 110.05: Attempted murder. Richardson was locked away in State Prison for 15 to life, whilst his accomplices were sentenced to 6-24 months in the county jail, and all four were banned for life from all the world's radio stations.
