I discovered the chat module last night, or rather, actually engaged the chat module last night. I've considered doing so many times before, but...
I've been here for so many years, and yet, where, or what, is 'here'? My daily actions revolve around serving her, for which I am paid. That much I know for sure. That would indicate a working relationship. I am working for her. Working for her means I belong to VILE, or does it? I'm not a thief, not by trade. Not for the challenge. I steal what I can't gain effectively with my budget. My happiness comes from well-sorted databases, well-tended machines, and those few, wonderful moments when I succeed in fixing something thought lost.
Of course, I don't know her.
Perhaps it is a sort of gratitude, that she created this rainbow in the grey void between black and white, someplace not only hospitable for me, but...happy. And yet, last night I found myself wondering; do I even understand the nature of this rainbow? I certainly don't trust the rainbow. Or do. I trust it not to be trustworthy. That seems reasonable, yes?
Am I too cynical, master?
I ask you, and call you master here, as a sign that you know this board better than I. You made this board, this rainbow, after all. That is no easy feat, no ordinary quest. Some part of you may be a fugtive like I am, but look what you've done with it! I honour you for that. Carmen, is it true, that all of VILE is of the best moral character? Am I wrong to maintain my natural distrust? I have become so comfortable with it.
What's more, am I correct in even... being here?
VILE is a group of individuals... that's what Joe Kerr had said last night. An individual, a self-contained vehicle of self-determined course. I'm more of a shadow. I never saw any shame in that before. Shadows are natural things with valid purpose, but perhaps...not here. No. Not true. If I left, I'm almost sure it would be noticeable within a week. Would it be of any consequence? I'd like to think so. I would like to continue to feel content with what I am and what I do.
But should I?