ACME may be a top-class organization, but that doesn't mean that some fellow desk jockeys have some lapses in knowledge when it comes to technology. Here are a few reminders:

• The CD drive in your computer was not built as a cupholder. Only CDs go in the CD tray.
• Likewise, the floppy drive is not a credit card reader.
• The mouse works best if it's kept on a horizontal surface; it's not a Wii Remote.
• The computer is the gray tower-like thing. The thing with the pictures on it is the monitor.
• Last but not least, if your computer is smoking or on fire, stop what you're doing, unplug the equipment, and call the fire department immediately! Don't worry about saving or proper shutdown procedures!