Help Desk workers:

Lately I've been recieving support tickets that are outside our scope of support. Please remember that I will not: purchase any gaming software or peripherals to be used on corporate computers; buy equipment for a caller's personal home; or help with problems that a caller is having at their house.

If we're to do our job, we need to focus on what really matters and not slow ourselves down on trivial deatils.

CM

Sorry for being away for so long... I was in a car crash on I-80 and was in a coma...

ACME may be a top-class organization, but that doesn't mean that some fellow desk jockeys have some lapses in knowledge when it comes to technology. Here are a few reminders:

• The CD drive in your computer was not built as a cupholder. Only CDs go in the CD tray.
• Likewise, the floppy drive is not a credit card reader.
• The mouse works best if it's kept on a horizontal surface; it's not a Wii Remote.
• The computer is the gray tower-like thing. The thing with the pictures on it is the monitor.
• Last but not least, if your computer is smoking or on fire, stop what you're doing, unplug the equipment, and call the fire department immediately! Don't worry about saving or proper shutdown procedures!
  

Well, I finally got to take a peek at the code that makes the evidence database chug. There's gotta be years of spaghetti code in this thing! It's gonna take some time to tighten up the code and get rid of all the gotos that slow it down. Once I get this all untangled, evidence retrieval requests and filings will fly a lot faster. Just give me a gallon of genmai-cha and I'll probably get this thing done in about a month.